In light of the recent Nightmare on Elm Street movie reload, it seems like a great time to re-cap some of the scariest creatures the horror genre has to offer. Behold, the top five horror monster flicks ever. If this gets you watching horror films, creating your own top five list, or planning your look for a Halloween costume in advance of October, so be it! Brace yourselves, for what follows may hit near your panic button, chill your blood, or make you regret the chili dog you ate for lunch yesterday.
Disclaimer: Nightmare induced stress-related disorders are NOT the things superheroes are made of - so if the following jogs some buried and traumatizing images from your youth, please... don't be a hero - seek therapy.
5. Signs (2002) If you saw this film in the theater, you went home with a sore throat. The "no-see" style of alien is the best because it builds suspense. If I could find an alien mask that was half as scary, I'd buy it, but really - what would it look like? By the time you do get a glimpse of the Earth invaders, you've already wet your chair. Add a little girl with a strange water-hoarding condition and you've got all of the ingredients for an anxiety attack.
4. Halloween (1978; 2007) It's not so much the dialogue or slasher scenes that earned this film a spot on my list, but the chase scenes - they're priceless. The killer mute is always a signal of impending doom, and a creepy guy with a bloody knife, a pasty white face, and a bad toupee is kind of the definition of serial killer. And as a teenage girl, nothing kills a good time like an older brother who tries to murder you as an irrational and unconventional birth control method.
3. Dawn of the Dead (1978; 2004) Zombies? Bikers? Shopping Mall? Are there better ingredients for a horror film than these seemingly unrelated items? I mean, seriously, zombies. Zombies! They're like ninjas - you just don't mess around. Do yourself a favor. Conquer the zombie night terrors by watching Zombieland (2009), then go back and watch Dawn of the Dead again. You'll be prepared for the imminent zombie apocalypse. Unless you've already settled for a healthy daily helping of brains in your diet.
2. Silence of the Lambs (1991) So, I always wanted to name my first born child "Clarice" - it's such a pretty name. Then I was introduced to Hannibal Lecter. It was like watching every redundant Jeffrey Dahmer joke I'd ever heard play out on the screen, over and over again. "Hellooo, Clarice." Those first-timer goose-bumps just don't fade. Maybe it was the scary half-mask. Regardless, I'm rather sure it was this film that took away all dreams of ever having children. Because, well, you know - Hannibal Lecter would just eat them.
1. The Exorcist (1973) Now, if a potty-mouthed and demon possessed, vomiting, back-wards walking, head-spinning little girl isn't a red-flag for you, I'm not sure how I can help. Perhaps the best of this classic film surrounds the special effects. It must be considered that this was the 70's. The precursor to the slightly campy, yet still real enough to make your heart pound special effects found in Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It doesn't matter how fake you think these special effects look now - just get a reaction from someone who hasn't yet seen it. Then watch their faces. They may even try to say the possession looks phony, but they'll check their back seats and say a few Hail Mary's before making sleep a top priority.
Want more without waiting? Try watching all of the Halloween movies in one sitting. Make your own top monsters or movies list. Or create your own super scary look with a monster costume mask. http://www.halloweenmasks.com is a good place to start your search.
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